I wrote about systemic barriers to grief for the Therapy on Fig blog. Check out an excerpt below or read the full thing here!

Folks often have the same reaction when I tell them I am a therapist who works with grief. They shrink inward, their voice softens, and they confess (as if I were their priest), “I don’t feel like I grieved my [fill in the blank] right.”

It’s an understandable concern. In our modern world of constant productivity, optimization, and death avoidance, it can be difficult to find tools for grief navigation or spaces where grief is welcomed in its full complexity. It makes sense that people feel pressured to experience a neat, efficient bereavement process, if they are even able to grieve at all. It can almost appear as though we all missed the day of school where we were supposed to learn the art of “grieving well.”

Many individuals blame themselves for not having a skill set with which to approach grief, or for not taking "enough" time to be present with their pain after the loss of a loved one. From a social work perspective, however, we view these struggles through a systemic lens rather than pathologizing the individual. We see feelings like self-criticism, shame, and guilt not as personal failures but as natural responses to broader societal and cultural expectations.

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